Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:03:57 GMT -5
Prologue: Welcome Friends and All
On a cool christmas eve, in a town somewhere near
While the children had presents, the parents had beer
And in they would settle, their dinners devoured
To await for that moment, that magical hour
When together with family, with friends, and with lovers
They’d share all the joy of the world with each other
Because friends, that is Christmas, when it all comes to pass
And to that fine notion, we all raise a glass
It was with this hope that our Gents did prepare
A great holiday party with Gently good care
They sent out the invites, they rented a tree
They even got Paramount Plus to agree!
But dear friends, as we know, even holiday cheer
Can sometimes be stressful at this time of year
And so now our dear hosts, I think will agree
That it’s time for the show to begin, you will see
But before I depart, and let us begin
I should mention one thing, one caveat then
The gents have the best of intentions, it’s true.
But remember on Christmas, not everything you
Will see is official, or canon my friend
So remember the fun. And thus now... we begin.
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Teo Blaze
Professional Wrestler
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:04:23 GMT -5
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:13:16 GMT -5
Part 1- Before the Party By Vanessa Rivers
Our Christmas Special proper opens with the Gentmas heroes greeting the audience The Gents are setting things up and planning where the rest of their supplies will go once they arrive. Jenson: We could put the drinks on those tables over there and then move some chairs around to make more room for the food tables.Teo: Yeah. That could work. We shouldn't need too many though. Torture made the budget pretty clear, so we'll be fine as long as we don't overdo it with any expenses.
At that moment, a figure walks into frame. A man carrying a large bag over his shoulder. Could it be? Jolly ol' Saint Nick with his signature "Ho-ho-ho!"!? He-he-hell nah. It is, however, a different tune being sung by the man with the black and white snow cap on. "DING...DONG...BING...BONG!" The Gents turn their heads and see CJ Phoenix Standing a few yards away. Phoenix: Merry Krampus, jerks. I brought your coalTeo: Krampus!? But we were good this year!Jenson: Yeah! And Krampus doesn't visit good children!Phoenix: But you're not children.Jenson: Teo's childish sometimes.Teo: Oh yeah? Well, you're childish all the time. Jenson: Nuh uhh. It's your fault Krampus is here. Teo: No, it's YOUR fault!Jenson: NO YOU! Teo: NO YOU!
The two point at each other and glare. A few seconds pass before all three guys burst into laughter. CJ puts the bag down and opens it, revealing a vast assortment of drinks. Jenson: Good to see you, CJ. Thanks for the drinks.Teo: Yeah. This is right on par with the budget. Actually, it's a little under, so that's even better. Jenson: Looks like you were right to leave Vanessa in charge of the refreshments and stuff. Phoenix: Uhhhh there's a second bag.Teo looks at CJ confused. Teo: Wuzzat? Phoenix: This is only half the drinks.CJ points at the other bag. Phoenix: I put that one down first, while you guys were still talking. Teo: Oh no.Jenson: Relax. It's just a few drinks. Even if it is more than expected, it wouldn't push the needle THAT far over budget.Teo: You're right. I'm sure it's fine.Phoenix: Totally fine. You know. It's a nice thing you guys are doing here. I like it.Teo: Well then stay here and be a part of it. Phoenix: Sorry. No can do. Promised my wife I'd go with her to Colorado to visit her family for Christmas. Between AW and monitoring the construction of Hope's Peak, I don't have nearly as much time to be with her. So I'm making the most out of the time we do have together. I'm just dropping this off to help Nessa out and say hi and bye.Jenson: That's fair.
Speaking of which, Vanessa Rivers slowly walks into the scene with just all sorts of bags on her.(insert cheers and whistling) Several on each arm, a few in each hand, and a few on her back being held by....arrows!? Vanessa: Hey guys! A little help, please? Even with maid and waitress experience, this is hard.
The guys help remove the bags from her. Jenson: Hey, Vanessa. You know this is WAY more than we needed, right? Vanessa: It is? Oops. Should I have not gotten the fancy drink fountains too? Teo: We didn't ask for those. Vanessa: I knoooowwwww, but they looked so shiny and they were so cute!Jenson: How much were they?
Vanessa writes the total in the air with her index finger. The Gents drop their jaws. Teo: Seriously!?Vanessa looks at the ground. Vanessa: Sorry. I may have gotten a little carried away. Jenson: Just a little.Teo: Just a lot, and why do you have a bow and arrows?Vanessa: Oh these? Simple. I'm an elf.
CJ facepalms as Teo and Jenson glance at each other. Teo: Vanessa. That's not the kind of elf that's associated with Christmas. Jenson: Elves are elves, Teo, so she's technically right to dress like this.Teo's glance turns into a glare. However, before he could respond, Vanessa loads her bow with an arrow. Teo: Whoa whoa! What are you doing!? This isn't about the elf comment, is it?
Vanessa takes a deep breath and then she fires the arrow. It hits a wreath that looked like it was about to fall, nailing it to the wall. Vanessa: Got it!The guys look at the arrow in the wall. Jenson: Nice shot.Teo: You put a hole in the wall! Torture's gonna have a fit!Vanessa: He is!? Oh no. I'm in trouble again. Phoenix: Yeeaaahhhh I'm gonna go before I get hit with one of those. Later, flesh piles. Enjoy your holidays!CJ waves as he casually walks off, not wanting to be caught up in any of the consequences. They wave back before looking at each other. Teo: Okay. New plan. Vanessa. How good are you at setting tables? Vanessa: Very. It's as easy as breathing for me at this point. Teo: Perfect. You set things up and make the place look nice. And PLEASE don't use the bow and arrows again. Jenson: Didn't you get barred from using sharp objects for a while after you went on a poking spree with that trident at Execution? Vanessa: .....I'll be right back.She runs off to put away her weapons. Jenson: Think she'll do better at that than she did at getting the supplies?Teo: I hope so. I have seen her set up the tables in catering a few times, and she did pretty well. As long as she doesn't put any more dents in the budget, Jenson: Or holes in the wall. Teo: We should be fine. I think.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:19:23 GMT -5
Part 2- A Quandary and a Reading By Carter Shaw Christmas coordination abounds, Teo holds a cell phone up to his ear, seemingly talking about a specific Christmas present. Across the room, Jenson also has a private conversation going on his cell phone. Teo: uh-huh…yes, that’s right…uh-huh… Andre: mhmm…no, no, that’s not right, but…ok… Sitting on a small round table is a red rotary phone. Centered perfectly between the Two Gents, who face in opposite directions while on their phone calls, the dated phone lets out a LOUD ring. Both Gents glance over their shoulder at it. A look of concern on Jenson’s face, while Teo appears a bit more annoyed. Teo: No, it’s fine, Andre will get it. It rings again, that reverberating ring of the year 1955. Andre: Get that, Teo. A moment later… Teo: Hey, Andre, can you get that please? RIiIiIing. RiiIIIIING. As they both try to brush it off through 4 rings, they both freeze at the same moment, slowly turning towards each other and letting their cell phones fall from their ears. Andre: That’s the phone, isn’t it. Like, THEE phone. Teo: I believe they called it the Executive Express, yes. It is THEE phone. We have to answer. Andre: What do you think the AW Executives want? Teo: You’re gonna find out. Teo answers the phone quickly and shoves it to the side of Andre’s head. They almost scuffle a bit before Andre clears his throat and takes the phone call like a man. Andre: Hello, 2Gents Christmas Headquarters…Ah, Mr. Torture, I thought it might be you! Sorry for the delay, I…yes, sir, we are still planning on having the dinner… Andre’s eyes are wide as he looks up at Teo, who is asking for more information quietly. Andre: Yes, we’re still going to do that too…OVER BUDGET?! Teo: OVER BUDGET?!
Teo responds in shockAndre: No, no, I didn’t mean to raise my voice Torture, I’m just surprised, I…this hasn’t been a very expensive production, we are well within…Well, no, we did not factor in the added electricity usage…No, we didn’t factor in the water bill either… Teo: OVER BUDGET?!! Teo yells again as Jenson gives him a look of defeat. Andre: Yes, Torture, yes sir. Ok, will do, I- A resounding click hits the ear of Jenson as he slowly puts the Executive Express telephone back down onto the receiver. Teo: OVER- Andre: Budget, yes. He thinks we’re going to go over budget. Teo: What happens if we go over budget? I didn’t know there was a budget on Christmas cheer. Andre: I don’t know but I think we may have to alter some pla- Teo: NO! OUR PLANS ARE PERFECT. Andre: Let’s just put our heads together, do you want the wrath of Torture to ruin Christmas for EVERYbody? Teo ponders the wise words of Jenson as he slowly looks up to the camera. Teo: Well, while we figure out what we need to do here folks watching at home, we’ve got a bit of storytime for you as none other than CARTER SHAW has prepared a new Christmas tradition for us all.
As our screen fills with a new Christmas scene. A rocking chair adorned with red felt. A few scattered wrapped gifts sit on the floor beside it, a fireplace lit to perfection behind. Carter Shaw enters the scene slowly and takes a seat in the rocking chair, a green mug in hand that he places to the end table on his opposite side, steam coming from what can only appropriately be hot chocolate. He clears his throat as he stares dead pan towards the camera, pulling up a large storybook to hold out in front of himself. Carter Shaw: Gather round boys and girls, it’s time for one of the most important holiday tales you’ll ever hear. THIS…is the story of the Night Before Clash. Shaw opens the binding of the storybook, as he rocks a bit in the chair before starting, soft Christmas instrumental music joining in softly.
Twas the Night Before Clash, when all through the roster, Not a wrestler was stirring, just a bunch of degenerates and imposters. They unpacked their gear into their lockers with care, In hopes that their World Champion Carter Shaw soon would be there. The Following was broken, The Lost Breed died quickly from guilt For none of them could withstand what Carter Shaw had built. From Evolution to Execution, every Clash inbetween Was the greatest World Title reign AW had ever seen.
But out in the ring, there rose such a clatter It was Kyle Kemp grabbing a briefcase from atop the ladder. He had finally done it, amounted to something After a career built on turning nothing into more nothing.
It surely gave Dandy DiVito some nights of wet dreams Certain Kemp would cash in on Shaw, or so it would seem. But one fateful night, where Divito drew blood Out came Kyle Kemp to stomp Dandy’s dreams in the mud.
It was all in vain and none of it mattered, For Shaw already saw to it that previous doubts were shattered. He beat so many names, I’d say about ten. Including Corey Black and Spencer Adams, again and again.
While main eventers took vacations, Shaw was always there, Even when the odds stacked against him were much less than fair. You could pick ANY night before Clash And you know Shaw was there ready to kick some ass.
But as 2021 comes to a close What’s next for Carter Shaw? Nobody knows. A year of dominance would go out with a whimper Despite Dandy still never once pinning Shaw, can’t put it simpler.
Jill Park may be ill, but that’s neither here nor there 2022’s not about the rise of anybody, cause Shaw’s not goin’ anywhere. His confidence was unfazed and his determination did not wane For he knew it was only a matter of time before he earned another reign.
Twas the Night Before Clash, and the roster did fear That Philidor Holdings was gone but Carter Shaw was still here. Downfall beat Regan Voorhees but don’t shed a tear For everybody knows that Carter Shaw was the only Wrestler Of The Year. Shaw slowly closed the storybook, breathing in deep and looking up for the first time since calmly reading the “holiday tale”. He reached over towards the steaming mug, but instead reached a bit further and pulled a glass of whiskey towards himself, taking a sip before raising the glass with a smirk. Shaw: Merry Christmas and cheers to self-indulgence.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:26:51 GMT -5
Part 3: Advice from TVLand
By Special Guest Orrett Goldrock
As the scene fades back in, the Gents seem noticeably worried. Teo is holding the phone from before as Jenson looks over at the other guests
Teo Blaze: Yes, I know that sir, but- well you have to understand, I…No, you don’t have to come down! We have it under contro-
Hello?
Teo hangs up the phone with a dejected look.
Andre Jenson: How’s your mum doing?
Teo Blaze: That wasn’t my mom, Andre, it was Torture! He says if we spend any more money, that he’ll shut the whole thing down!
The audience gasps
Andre Jenson: And on Christmas, no less? That Scrooge!
Teo Blaze: He’s watching this you know.
Andre Jenson: Um…So about that budget?
Teo Blaze: Well, if holiday specials have taught me anything, it’s that we can find all the answers from television.
With that, Teo grabs a remote control as the camera fades over to a very old looking CRT television set as we zoom in…
We go to a commercial with a noticeably gaudy golden background with view pointing assigned by below average production standards. This commercial, which seems to have been bought solely with its entire production budget, opens with the grinning visage of the one and only Orret Goldrock.
“Greetings Action Heroes! Now I come before you a humble yet small man on this bleakest of days. As shelves clear and the dust settles—did you really, and I mean truly, ‘win’ your holiday shopping experience? Because I can bet my best money—which I never do unless there’s no chance of failure!—you just dropped a month of hard work at your measly job to buy your brats a PS5.”
He gets uncomfortably close to the camera.
“Don’t think I didn’t see you sneaking in at 1 am after waiting hours in the blistering cold of Minnesota in December. And not because I was “theoretically dumpster diving for my own personal proprietary—and perfectly legal, in most states not named California or territories like Puerto Rico—because I wasn’t! You can’t prove it either! I know, dear parent of two, as you’re all predictable! And you all need a side hustle.”
He grins to show his newly cast golden grill.
“What I’m offering is not your salvation. Nay a golden ticket! What I have for you today is an investment in a future where, hypothetically and purely on your level of investment—stated in full as required by the States of Florida, Arkansas and New Jersey—is a taste of tomorrow today!”
He steps back and whisks away the purple curtain overlaid his latest scheme.
“I, Orret Goldrock and sole owner and proprietor of Orbids-dot-com bring you the future of our business. Introducing a new service that all of you have already investing over the last three years. That’s right. We’re going nonfungible, baby! We got all the Gifs, pics and retired Vine videos—all starring yours truly and celebrities whom freely endorsed themselves on previous broadcasts of which I own exclusive rights to broadcast and hold across all contingent US States… and most of Canada. Now Behold!
The diagram shows a simplified model of the NFT process:
Step 1: Convert legal tender into tradeable resources exclusive to Orbids-dot-com, namely its private cryptocurrency, Orre-coin.
Step 2: Use Orre-coin to purchase and store NFT resources on Orbids-dot-com’s environmentally approved “carbon neutral” servers out of Reykjavik.
Step 3: Profit, but only represented with a ludicrous number of dollar signs.
“So shut up those sniveling brats and invest in your future with Orbids-dot-com and get your NFT game on. It’s the only thing between you and you that YOU deserve to be. Join the frenzy before it’s too late!”
The camera cuts to static as the scene slowly fades out.
Andre Jenson: I don’t think that’s going to help us, Teo
Teo is already trying to dial a number on the rotary phone and looks up guiltily.
Teo Blaze: Oh fine, but no more big budget things!
The Audience laughs as we cut to a brief commercial break.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:29:27 GMT -5
Part 4: Unexpected Guests! by Karlie Nash
Teo and Andre are continuing with their Christmas show when outside a car pulls up, stepping out of the drivers side is shockingly their long time tag team rival Karlie Nash dressed in a red and green three piece suit, she walks around the front of the car as the passengers side door opened, Nikola steps out in a designer gown, as they walk toward the door, Nikola pulls a mask from her versace bag.
Karlie: I think everyone has their shots, Nikki. Nikola: Probably, but I can’t risk these people breathing their disgusting germs on me. Karlie smirks as they reach the door where Teo is standing, just as a van pulls up, members of Karlie’s church exit and make their way to the door. Karlie: Hey Teo, bet you weren’t expecting us to be here huh, well it’s christmas so for one night at least we can put our past hostilities on hold, and I figured you might need a little help so I brought the Church kitchen staff to help, they are at your disposal. Nikola glares at Teo and heads to the bar. Karlie nods then walks inside. Teo Blaze: Well would you look at that, Jenson? Christmas can bring together even the most bitter of enemies. Andre Jenson: And I told you the bar was a good idea! We even stocked it with imported whiskey! Teo practically does a double take at the set as the phone begins ringing again. Andre Jenson: Fortunately we can return the bottles as long as they’re unopened? Teo frantically goes to answer the phone as we fade to the next segment
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:36:43 GMT -5
Part 5: A Special Christmas Special By Sam Kidsgrove “Teo!” Shouts Jenson “Now a bunch of people are here, i’m gonna set up the TV in the other room for people who want to chill and not listen to whatever the heck music this is!” He points at the massive 50 inch beast of a CRT TV, the kind which is the size of the computers that took NASA to the moon. “It’s Christmas Music, Andre.” Replies Teo, calmly, standing only 2 feet away from him. “Why did you shout?” Jenson shrugs “We got that CRT set up still, right? And the VHS?”“VHS? Andre you own Best buy, you haven’t upgraded to 4k?” “CRT is a better picture quality and much more fathomable for Christmas Teo, you know this right? Now are you coming with me? I need help carrying it to the other room!” He signals for Teo to pick up the TV from the other side, they struggle to pick it up and slowly start making their way to the living room. “These….Things….Are…..HEAVY!” Teo pants as they move it. “Almost…there!” Jenson exclaims as they get to the table it’s going to sit on, they put it on there with an almighty thud and Jenson looks at it, satisfied. “Good, glad I didn’t have to use the trolley.” He points at a warehouse trolley that would have been perfect to move the TV with. Teo narrows his eyes slightly as Jenson hooks up the VHS and inserts a tape. The opening scene of “Elf” with Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel flickers into view. Jenson looks at Zooey, playing Jovie with interest.“She looks familiar.” He declares“Yes, of course.” Teo replies, “You know her”Jenson scoffs. “I don’t know any elves Teo. Well, correction I know Flarbald the Elf, and Turmo the Drow Elf, granted there are the 12 Elven Kings of Taramat and the 34 elves of the Woodland clan. Then you have the 90…..”The doorbell rings, Teo looks to the heavens as if to thank the Lord he’s been taken away. He leaves as Jenson continues to name all the elves he knows. He comes back 2 minutes later. “Oh and yeah, the 903rd legion of Elven archers. And Fred.” “Yeah, well you can never forget Fred!” “But I don’t know any santa Elves. Oh Teo wouldn’t it be a Christmas Miracle if we got to meet an actual Santa Elf? Wouldn’t it be great! I have never done so before, even when we went to visit Santa in his grotto as a kid he never had any legitimate Elves with him, they were all just actors.” Teo decides to not pull Jenson up on this. He simply says “Christmas Magic can only go so far Andre! Who knows what’ll happen?!” The doorbell rings again and Teo goes off to answer the door while Jenson carries on watching Elf. He pauses the film as he hears his good friend Sam Kidsgrove come through the doorway. Beaming with festive cheer, he turns around to greet him. Sam is wearing a Die Hard Christmas jumper, a Santa hat and is full of festive cheer. Zooey takes off her jacket and Jenson’s mind pops. He looks at the TV and sees Zooey standing, paused, with her hands on her hips in her Elf costume. He looks back at Zooey standing before him, with her hands on her hips. She’s also wearing the elf costume, clearly dressed up. He looks back at the TV, then back at Zooey, pointing at each individually, mouth agape in awe.“How, what, how?” “What’s up buddy?” asks Zooey“Jovie? How, what? How did you do that?” “Do what pal?” Asks Sam, who looks at Teo in concern. Teo takes stock of the situation and nods.“I was afraid of this,” he says. “Teo, do you see this?” Jenson asks. “Either 3d technology is absolutely awesome now or we have an actual Christmas Miracle happening here right in front of my very eyes!” “Well actually, Andre, this…” Sam begins. Teo looks at him and shakes his head. Zooey also looks at him with her “Just leave it” face. She mouths to him “Let him have this one, OK” And Sam shrugs, smiles a Christmassy smile and asks where to put the non alcoholic wine he brought with him. “Merry Christmas” He says to Teo and Jenson. Zooey hugs them both “Merry christmas guys! Would you like me to grab either of you a drink, I’ll go help out in the kitchen!” As they walk away, Jenson looks at Zooey, then looks at the TV, then looks at Teo. “I thought Sam was engaged to Zooey Deschanel. What’s he here with Jovie for?” He asks.“It’s OK bud, we better prepare for our next song.” Teo says as he puts his hand on Jenson’s shoulder.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:38:46 GMT -5
And now we are pleased to bring you some additional christmas songs, modified for the Action Wrestling Audience. Up first!
Monday Night, Action Night, by Sam Kidsgrove (Sung to the Tune of Silent Night)
Mooooooonday Night Accccccccction Night Cruiiiiiiiser Clash, It's Alright! We've got Heritage, Vebbins and Nash So much better than Monday night Clash.
Keep up with Regan Voorheeeee-eeeeeeees Keep up with Regan Voorheeeees
Moooonday Night Accctiooon Night Main show Clash, is gone in a flash. It's such a great show, every week All of the action you ever will seek! Dandy DiVito loves cheeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeese Dandy DiVito loves cheeeeeeese
And now, a tribute to the hardcore wrestlers among us, this is….
Deck The Ring! by Teo Blaze and Andre Jenson (Sung to the tune of Deck the Halls)
Deck the table with barbed wire, Fa la la la la, la la la la Light the bloody thing on fire, Fa la la la la, la la la la Stack a ladder near the blazing Fa la la la la, la la la la Boy this spot will be amazing Fa la la la la, la la la la
Grab some chairs and make a pile Fa la la la la, la la la la Climb the coner with some style Fa la la la la, la la la la Grab opponent by the collar Fa la la la la, la la la la A Superplex will make him holler! Fa la la la la, la la la la
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaaaaa
And now... back to our Show!!
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:43:59 GMT -5
Part 6: White Elephant Gifts By Lissie Hope As we come back from our intermission, we find the guests intermingling around the set, while Teo and Jenson confer to themselves Andre Jenson: Well the show is going well so far, but what about gifts? Teo Blaze: Oh that’s no problem, Lissie said she’d cover it. In fact she should be in the guest room right now tallying up the presents. The Gents walk to the “guest room” which in actuality is a thin plywood wall to another set, where the lady herself stands next to an intricately wrapped pile of presents. Teo Blaze: Oh Lissie, I could kiss you! Lissie Hope: Watch it, Blaze, I’m not that kind of girl. Teo Blaze: Just an expression, but my goodness! Talk about a holiday spread! We have so many presents here, it’ll bring a smile to every guests’ face! Lissie Hope: Well it was the least I could do, Teo, after all I was hesitant to be a guest on, whatever this thing is- Andre Jenson: A Christmas special. Lissie Hope: I have better things to do after all, but then I realized that when you asked me to be in charge of the secret Santa, that hey, why not make lemonade? So I went ahead and ran with it. Teo Blaze: Right! And you followed the list I gave you? Lissie Hope: List? Teo then notices a crumpled up piece of paper lying next to the presents. Andre Jenson: That tracks. Teo Blaze: Lissie, you did follow the…very carefully budgeted and allotted list of presents using the Action Wrestling Credit Card? Lissie Hope: Oh was that what you gave me? I just figured you wanted me to pick. I’ve got year long gym memberships, high end protein powder, officially licensed T-shirts to my workout center… Teo Blaze: What the- Lissie, this is all just merchandise from your gym! Andre Jenson: Expensive merchandise by the look of it… Lissie Hope: Oh is this the thanks I get for personally finding gifts for every one of your guests? Yes, I might have charged the Action Credit card to it, but that’s not the point! I’m going to the bar, you two can hand out the gifts. Merry Christmas. Lissie storms towards the bar as the Gents look forlornly at their gifts. Teo Blaze: What are the odds Torture found out about any of this? Andre Jenson: Oh, pretty good considering he’s standing right behind you? Teo Blaze: He’s wha- BOOM! A clap of thunder practically plays as from just off camera appears the very intimidating and very angry visage of the Action Wrestling President! Torture: Geeeeeeeents! Teo Blaze: Boss! So glad you could make it- Torture: Don’t you give me that! I know that you’ve been making a mess of this whole project! I’ve got investors from Paramount Plus texting me like crazy and accusing us of wasting funds! Now I was very clear that if you went even one penny over budget, that I’d shut down this whole operation, and I can do it, too! Torture points over to the studio wall, where a large switch is labelled “Shut Down The Whole Thing”, looking not unlike the type you’d see to activate Frankenstein’s monster…or an electric chair. Torture: Now you two are pushing me too far! I'm going to- Andre Jenson: Now now boss, hold on, it’s time to hand out presents! Why…uh…here’s yours! Jenson hastily shoves a box in Torture’s hands and signals for Teo. The two dart out of the room as Torture curiously opens the box to reveal a pair of lady’s leopard print yoga pants. He looks in utter confusion as the audience laughs and we cut back to the Gents…
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:47:18 GMT -5
Part 7: Unconventional Christmases
By Jill Park
The Gents lock the door behind them as Torture fumbles around the other gifts. Teo wipes his brow and looks to his partner, who shrugs his shoulders. Teo Blaze: You know, I do wonder if everyone else is having this much trouble with Christmas. Andre Jenson: I mean, there were a few people who didn’t RSVP…Jim Mud, Corey Bull, Harry Diderot… I wonder what they’re doing right now… Teo and Jenson both place their hands on their chins as the scene fades to an elaborately animated dream sequence starts to play out, with stick figure drawings appearing to highlight whatever the Gents say… Teo Blaze: Imagine Jim Mud volunteering at a soup Kitchen A stick figure appears to represent the former GM Andre Jenson: He’d probably be mistaken for one of the needy the way he looks Teo Blaze: Oh yeah! He’d spend the entire evening complaining that he’s trying to help, and they just keep giving him more soup. The Gents chuckles as the scene plays out over their heads. Andre Jenson: And Harry? He’s probably trying to find a frier big enough for his Christmas dinner. Teo Blaze: You think he’s frying a turkey? Andre Jenson: no, an Ostrich! Teo Blaze: A Pterodactyl! The Stick figure Diderot grabs onto the stick figure dinosaur only to be carried away with a whoosh! Teo Blaze: And Corey Bull? He’s enjoying retirement- Andre Jenson: Gods, imagine Corey Bull doing retiree activities. An amusing caricature of Corey Bull standing on a golf course with his arms crossed appears in the thought bubble. A Caddy walks up only for the stick figure to angrily chase it away swinging a golf club. Teo Blaze: Gods, I love Christmas. But we need to focus on the task at hand! Andre Jenson: That’s right! Jill Park was here earlier, she dropped off the groceries. Teo Blaze: Um…we let Jill go grocery shopping? Andre Jenson: Yeah, why? As if to answer his question, a sound comes from the “kitchen” and several pots and pans go flying into the living room. Teo Blaze: Let’s just say Jill doesn’t like when people disagree with her choices. Andre Jenson: I’m sure that will sort itself out. Come on! We need to check on dinner! The Gents rush into the kitchen as the special cuts to commercial.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:51:19 GMT -5
Part 8: Dinner and a Show? By Teo Blaze and Andre Jenson Teo Blaze: Well that’s enough thinking about others' dinners, I think it’s time we have our own! We have to get through the special before Torture manages to shut us down! Andre Jenson: I think we managed to distract him a little bit, he’s at the bar last I saw… Torture: This bottle costs how much!? Teo Blaze: Well if we can just manage to keep him distracted, we can get to the special’s end…we just have to make sure that nothing is too expensive… The rowdy guests are ushered over to another set, where a large dining room table has been set up with an elaborate spread. Teo Blaze: Saaaaay, this looks pretty good! Wait- please tell me that you didn’t hire a celebrity chef. Andre Jenson: Nah, we tried to contact Ramsay, but he said something about Masuda Teijin and then a long string of expletives. Teo Blaze: Thank goodness. Alright everyone, sit down! With some hubbub and circumstance, the individuals find their seats. The audience chuckles as a few friendly rivalries come out, people pulling chairs out of the way or flicking mashed potatoes across the table. But it is all in good fun, and in a moment the scene has settled into conversation and stories, and the mood seems genuinely fun as the group begins to dig in. Andre Jenson: You know, it’s the simple things about Christmas that I love. We can all come together to share something with the fans, the world. Teo Blaze: And nothing could possibly- Torture: What the hell?! Who approved a dinner scene!? This wasn’t in the format you turned in! Andre Jenson: Well the rewrites- Torture: A turkey? Mashed potatoes? Yams? Christmas puddings? Roast beast? Do you know who’s paying for all this!? Teo Blaze: Look Torture, I realize that we- Torture stomps over, grabbing the turkey and holding it over his head. Torture: Paramount! I have to justify every single expense you knuckleheads have put on this company, and I- Torture realizes that everyone in the table is staring at him, and the conversation has fallen silent. Torture: Don’t you look at me like that. I’m just trying to do what’s best for the company. If you were in my position, why.. The company president looks around with a scowl, and then turns, taking the entire turkey into the empty room next door to sit on the couch by himself. Teo Blaze: Gosh, he’s not normally like this. Andre Jenson: The holidays are a stressful time for all of us, Teo. Teo Blaze: Uh…carry on everyone! There’s still plenty of food left! The meal resumes as the camera cuts to Torture, digging into the Turkey by himself on the couch as he grumbles about budget figures.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:55:35 GMT -5
Part 9: Do you want to build a snowman? By Max Daemon & Co As the scene fades, we change to a new view, outside the “house” Outside in the snow covered front yard, we see a few of Action Wrestling's wrestlers enjoying the white of winter's wonders.
In particular, we see Roddy Zalez in a thick black overcoat and a gold colored scarf and Doc Knockem in another thick white overcoat standing next to a...snowman?
Roddy stares at the...snowman? with his fists against his hips, a look of pride on his face.Doc briefly takes off his Santa hat covered cowboy hat. He scratches his head a few moments before returning said hat to its place. "Roddy...that doesn't look like a snowman..." Doc says."Sure it does!" Roddy proudly responds.Doc sighs, scratching his nose for a few moments.
"What's uh...what's up with the two boulders at the bottom?" Doc asks."Those are its legs, obviously," Roddy responds."Okay...how about the two boulders of the same size extending up?" Doc again ponders."Its head and body. Haven't you ever seen a snowman before?" Roddy retorts.Again, Doc sighs. He turns towards Kitsumi, who is wearing a thick, purple, feather-filled jacket with a purple winter hat covering her hair. She is presently hugging a snowman close. A snowman that looks...very, suspiciously close to the object of her affection, Aisuru. "Kit, help me out here. Does this look like a snowman?" Doc asks.Kitsumi doesn't respond, in her own world as she is. "Of course it does! It looks almost exactly like hers!" Roddy exclaims."It looks like a dick and balls," a voice pipes up. Roddy and Doc look over and see Max Daemon staring at Roddy's...snowman? with a hand on his chin, like he's examining a piece of art. Doc winces at the honesty from the man. "The hell it does! It's a snowman, clear as day!" Roddy defends his masterpiece."It's nighttime, genius, so no wonder ya' can't see it," Max says. "It's clearly a penis and a coupla nuts."Roddy clenches his fist, growling as he looks at Max. "What would you know about snowmen, huh?" Roddy asks.Max glances over his shoulder towards his stereotypical snowman of three spherical mounds of snow, going from bottom to top of decreasing size, all wrapped up with two sticks out of the middle sphere and a few rocks lining the top one to indicate a smirking face. Roddy grumbles as he looks at the clearly better man of snow. Max approaches Kitsumi's...scarily accurate recreation of her object of affection Aisuru. Kitsumi notices him and narrows her eyes. "Now this..." Max says, using his thumb to indicate towards the snowman. "...THIS is a snowman."Roddy looks at his...endowed snow creation and growls. He wraps his arms around the top sphere before taking it off. He then hands it off to Doc, simply pointing at a distracted Max. Doc shrugs, using one hand to launch the boulder of snow at its target. Max turns around, widening his eyes at the potential assault before ducking his head. "Ha! Ya missed!" When Max looks up, he sees Roddy and Doc widen their eyes. Roddy starts to slap Doc's arm before the two of them begin to hightail it down the street. Max raises his eyebrow.
He turns towards Kitsumi to see her wary look replaced with one of absolute rage.
Max glances at the former snow recreation to notice it is now on the ground, returned from whence it came as part of the white floor in the front lawn."Oh..." he says.
Without any warning, Max turns around and begins to make haste as well, Kitsumi hot on his tail.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 15:59:28 GMT -5
Part 10: A Christmas Miracle?? By Regan Voorhees Snowflakes fall outside, with sounds of joyous Christmas carols and snowball fights audible even through the kitchen window. Meanwhile, things continue to heat up back in the kitchen as the financial situation remains dire. Teo and Jenson leave the guests to wine and dine while they debate last minute budget cuts to get the production out of the red. The debate does not appear to be going well. Andre Jenson: We can auction off the presents. Unopened. People will pay more for a mystery present. Teo Blaze: I don’t know if that’s true. Andre Jenson: What’s the market for food partially eaten by your favorite Action Wrestling superstars? Teo Blaze: My guess would be not great. Andre Jenson: C’mon, there’s gotta be a way to save this Christmas special. Teo Blaze: Not unless Santa pulls up with a sleigh full of cash. The backdoor swings open, accompanied by a chorus of oinks performing a Christmas staple.
Snow drifts in to accompany the arrival of a sleigh, pulled by an especially stout Yorkshire pig adorned with a pair of fake antlers. In the sleigh sits Atticus Voorhees, several sizes smaller than his porcine reindeer cohort, a red Santa hat sitting upon his head. A matching red sack sits behind him. As the sleigh slides to a halt on the kitchen floor, he snorts at the Gents, motioning with his snout to a sealed white envelope beside him. Teo and Jenson exchange a look, before Teo finally takes the envelope. His fingers tear through the seal to remove a white Christmas card ringed in green, with a message in red calligraphy at the center.
You’ve both been very good this year. -Atticus Claus Teo shows the card to Jenson, who has already made his way to the red sack. Once he loosens the drawstring, unmarked bills spill over the floor in denominations of $20, $50, $100. Jenson grabs a wad of cash and waves it back at Teo, before taking a whiff of the money. Andre Jenson: Smells legit. The Gents unload the sack full of cash, setting it on the kitchen floor. Andre Jenson: Almost forgot! Jenson charges through the kitchen door to the dining area, leaving Teo alone with the pigs and the money. Teo Blaze: Thanks, Atticus. You really saved our bacon. Atticus replies with an offended snort. Teo Blaze: Right, sorry. Jenson returns with a napkin full of cookies, setting them in the sleigh next to the pig. Andre Jenson: A snack for the road. Thanks, Atticus. You really saved our– Teo interrupts with a hand on his partner’s shoulder. Teo Blaze: Don’t. We appreciate it, but don’t let us hold you up. Looks like you’ve got a busy night. Atticus snorts in agreement as the reindeer pig goes about pulling the sleigh in a circle, horrendously scratching the kitchen floor along the way. The Gents dig their hands into Santa’s bag of cash, waving fistfuls of money as the sleigh slides out the door and back into the snowy evening.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 16:05:43 GMT -5
Part 11: All is Saved...or Is it? By Johnny Bacchus Teo Blaze: Thank the stars! I think with Atticus’s contribution, we have just barely managed to break even on our expense! Andre Jenson: I knew that miracles could happen on Christmas! Teo Blaze: Now we should be good as long as nobody else manages to rack up any expense-
*DING DONG*
Teo Blaze: Now who could that be? Teo walks over to the door, opening it with a loud creeeeeak to reveal… Johnny Bacchus: Whattup, Bitches!? The former Hardcore champion is draped with his main squeeze Mae to his side, leaning on his christmas themed holiday hawaiian shirt! Andre Jenson: Oh, Johnny! Fashionably late I see… Teo Blaze: And, uh…how are you wearing a hawaiian shirt in the snow? Johnny Bacchus: Teo, you realize it’s like 104 degrees under these studio lights, right? Teo’s holiday sweater suggests that he is keenly aware. Teo Blaze: Oh Johnny, what are you talking about, this is our “house” Johnny Bacchus: Do you remember what happened to Michael Jackson at that Pepsi shoot? Not me, homie – I’m wearing enough sunscreen to make an Swede call bullshit. Teo Blaze: Uh Johnny, careful now, we cant’ say anything off color- Johnny Bacchus: Why the fuck not? It’s christmas! Andre Jenson: Right, but we promised the MPAA we’d meet a certain rating on the live segments or we have to pay a fine… Teo Blaze: A few thousand per infraction- Johnny Bacchus: A fuckin’ fine? Bullshit, isn’t that just the way? Regulations get a bitch by the balls and twist em til they look like sugar plums. A rather inebriated looking Mae lets out a snort of laughter. Johnny Bacchus: Anyway, we’ll be at the bar, merry fuckin’ Christmas! Teo is counting on his fingers the number of fines the broadcast has incurred as the pair look nervously at the now furious Torture, stamping his feet as he marches towards the switch to turn off the entire production… Teo Blaze: Now boss, hear me out, the special’s almost over- Torture: Damn straight it is! Andre Jenson: We’ve almost made it to the end, I’m sure the execs will understand- Torture: No! No more distractions! Now I made it perfectly clear that this venture has to be profitable or you two are done, and guess what, you two are Done!! Torture angrily turns and walks towards the switch as the audience gasps Torture: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a GOOD NIGH- The Gents gasp at the sound, and the audience all holds their collective breath
And then…
Like magic…
Standing next to Torture, Red Suit and all, is Old Saint Nick himself, Santa Claus. And his hand is on the shutoff Lever that Torture was about to throw. Santa Claus: Now now, is that any way to act on Christmas? The audience practically bursts into applause as the executive’s jaw drops open.
Santa Claus: Now I realize that not everything went as planned here tonight, but are you telling me you’re going to shut down everyone’s Christmas wishes over a few pennies? I thought that you were bigger than that, sir.Torture: I…Santa, I’m under a lot of pressure here. Santa Claus: We all are. But Torture, look at the company, the federation, no..the family that you’ve created. Look at all these faces here to celebrate Christmas together. I know for a fact that you didn’t found Action Wrestling as a way to get rich. You did it because you had a belief, an idea, because you actually wanted to make a difference in the world. And you have! That’s what Christmas is about.
And I understand, that we all have stress. We all have pressure, we all have things that are bothering us and questions that we might not want to know the answer to.
But we also have each other. That’s what you have built, Torture. That’s what this is all about. So take your hand off the lever and enjoy the family you’ve made. That’s why they all came to see you, after all. Torture looks as though he’s about to break down in tears as his hands slips off of the shutoff lever. Torture: Guys, I- The Gents interrupt Torture by both giving him a big simultaneous hug as everyone applauds. Within seconds, all of the guests are surrounding Torture with a hug. Santa looks at the scene with a smile and in an instant, he’s gone. Torture: You guys are the best, go ahead and finish your special! I’ll handle the executives. Teo Blaze: Aw, thanks boss! Andre Jenson: You’re the best! Torture: I gotta say though, whoever you hired to play Santa, that guy’s pretty good at his job. Teo Blaze: Wait, we thought you hired him. Torture: Wait, you didn’t- then who? All three look over to the spot where the man in the red suit stood just a moment ago, but he is nowhere to be found. Torture: Fuckin’ Christmas Miracles… Teo Blaze: You can say that again.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 16:10:07 GMT -5
Part 12: Merry Christmas to All! By Ensemble The cast and crew are now gathered on the stage as the audience applauds, we are in the home stretch and sure enough, the Gents take the Microphone. Teo Blaze: Well, ladies and gentlemen, I do believe that is our time for the evening. Andre Jenson: We’d like to thank everyone involved for all of their efforts, we couldn’t have done it without you guys Teo Blaze: This year has been a wild one, and as we see you off before AwardsClash, we have one final song to play you out. Go ahead and sing along if you know the words!With that, the Gents lead the audience in a rousing rendition of…
That’s What Christmas Means to Me (Sung to the Tune of That’s what Christmas means to me by Stevie Wonder)
… Oh yeeeeah Title belts and chairs Everybody’s there Cheerin for their heroes Hopin if they dare To see their favorite hero Flyin through the air … All these things and more (All these things and more)
Whoa, that's what Christmas means to me A-Dub! (That's what Christmas means to me A-Dub!) Whoa, yeah Ha ha, yeah … And ya know what I mean
Johnny’s smlin face Lissie with the cheer Max, Zalez, and Kitsumi Karlie Nash is here Torture Learns a lesson And we all share a beer … All these things and more, friends (All these things and more) Whoa, that's what Chrstmas means to me A Dub! (That's what Christmas means to me A Duuub) Oh yeeeeaah Teo continues working the crowd over the music as the scene fades to the rafters, where we see Santa Claus standing with a smile over the musical scene. Santa Claus: Sometimes all we need a little Christmas magic. With that, he turns and winks at the camera, pulling down his beard…
To reveal the grinning face of AW’s other Co-president, Gravedigger himself. He holds up his finger to his lips in a “Shhh” motion as the camera pans upwards and fades to the closing credits.
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Teo Blaze
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 16:10:38 GMT -5
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Teo Blaze
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Posts: 335
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Post by Teo Blaze on Dec 24, 2021 16:15:26 GMT -5
Epilogue By Teo Blaze and Andre Jenson
And so we conclude, on this fine christmas scene
I hope that you all have enjoyed what you've seen
So to all of our friends, both the new and the old
We see you as greater than silver or gold
For the true riches in life, as cliche as it sounds
Is when family and friends can gather around
Once more now with feeling, cause this is the end
Merry Christmas to all! Til we see you again!
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